Best Friend, Peer review

I had lunch with my best friend today, so I guess we are peer's then. We converse on many topics and have been friends for around forty years and there in lie's why we've been best friends so long, our interests are similar our thoughts are often the same on many subjects, so today the subject churned and the boat chugged in the same direction in both of our minds. We have yet to come to a compelling action of this conversation, same page, different day same conclusion, no action. I will share a couple of our subjects shortly.

Our busyness,time fly's

The last date I posted was in January 2009, have I kept all those things bottled up for that long? I am sitting by a beautiful young lady and she is writing in a journal, I have one of those at home,not to be written in as almost as long as this one. There is no point in this writing' except to get my fingers working again, of course I will have to go back an check for mistakes, I do facebook quite often so I'm not that bad.
The original intent in this post was the realization that I have not posted for so long, and as all of you, there has been so much that has happened as the time has flown by so consistantly as time doe's.
I count it a blessing to still be around although as an existant I am alive, going here and there almost like a zombie at times with purpose only in the relm that applies to family and imediate members there of, in which I enjoy my role, I have grandkids and I do take that role on with great and immence seriousness. Our children and grandchildren need so much input and guidence still, the grandchildren of course more so, because time flies and if we don't particepate in those lives then our influence goes by the wayside.
I think it a travisty if I hold my love in and not freely spend it on my family, time is much equal to love, and our little grandkids need all we can give.
I belive times are changing and our country is not helping the family tradition stay strong, we are being undermined and devalued, if we don't do our part by doing what we can in our immediate families then TIME is going to slide on by and we will sit there and wonder, where did the time go? And more regrettibly, Why didn't I pay attention.
TIME FLIES, AND WE CAN'T GET IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
I turn my thinking back in my mental time clock, I lost my grandson who wasn't born yet, at five months in his mommy, he is not able to expierience time, He is forever with Jesus, He will not know time as we know it, but we, his family will always wonder what times we would have had together with Him? This thought should spur us on to spend the time we do have with our loved ones differently from the norm we hold many times, if you are one who holds these values then it will bless your family and those around you and therefore be an influence in this world and our country, Bless you for doing your part with and in your family, you are a Hero for your family, and we as hero's don't need to be recognized for our deeds except where it counts, in those lives we touch.

Behold

I was awoken to look at what seemed to be a dream, as I looked I was entering a big building through a side door as were many people. I noticed the main entrance facing the street was hardly being used, strange I thought, intrigged by this I stood at a window watching a few come straggling in that main door.There standing on the outside is a person who I could see as these shodow's of other's would take out a key and let themselve's in as they entered around the strange person standing by the door. I thought He was a door man or a greeter, but He never once openned the door for any of those that entered and they would quickly close the door not letting the stranger sneak in behind them, pecqullier I thought!
My attention was drawn to some commotion going on in the autatorium where a host of shadowy figure's were milling about, not really doing anything that looked inviting, but I wandered in to see if I could get involved, but was turned aside because I wasn't able to show a key.
There are hundreds of people coming into the main room through side door's from four corner's of this big room but they too are standing around the outside looking in at what appear's to be three or four separate groups or team's, if they are some kind of team? It's totally clear that they are not working toward any particular goal, and the team's roster is full, because as others try to engage, they are also turned away for lack of having a key, It's like the one's in the middle know we are in the building, which they don't seem to mind, but at the same time they know who possess key's and those who do not.
There is some kind of belonging that I can't put my finger on and some strange feeling of wanting to belong without invitation it's obvious you will not be welcomed to these special team's what ever they are.
There is a familiar sound coming from the main entrance, a tap, tap and another tap, no one seem's to hear it although everyone standing around that are not part of the festivities know someone want's in, why? I wonder doesn't He come around to the side door, we got in that way, although clearly not welcome we are in.
Ignored by all that entered with a key none would let Him in until all inside heard the one still patciantly standing at the front door, in a quite yet audible voice say"Behold I stand at the door and knock."
Is someone going to let him in the building at least?

Ever changing LIFE

Just thinking.........passing time just thinking. I keep being amazed at life, thing's that happen and sometime's we don't stop and look at this stuff going on around us,I seem to just make adjustments without thinking that there is anything different, and just keep on keeping on.
God however is in control of these ever changing thing's in our live's and just want's us to acknowledge HIM as being in control, something I am not very good at, and so I think HE must keep putting thing's in front of me until I"get it", thankfully HE is very patient with me, very thankful.
The very thing that make's me come to this thought is, Kristina, my very first niece, who not too long ago was in that life threatenning accident. God must still be amazed at the slowness of some of us who take so long to get these message's. That accident affected so many people accross this country, and so many people rushed to gather around Krissy, though many didn't even know her but still rallied around her, I think because we all down deep inside ourselve's know how very fragile life is, and we hope that by coming together in prayer before the Creator that it in someway will help us come to a closer relationship with not only each other but strengthen our own faith.
Thing's in life happen for a reason, I am looking forward to this weekend and next weekend, because Krissy's family is coming together in celebration of a family member graduating from high school, what a way to start life, with family coming together ,and what a place to start healing of family relation's in a place and event of a kid's moving on in life, Oh son be aware of the many life changing event's in your life too come.

Time....Where did it go.

I was walking out the door of the place I worked for twenty year's and remember thinking I don't have very much time to waste before I need to get another job. I was making call's to invite people to my mother's 89 th. birthday, arranging for food, place's for family to stay, reunion's of people in youth group, thinking I'll never get this ready in time.
Well I have been on my own employment in contracting work now for over a year, God has supplied each day, and new thing's seem to roll in at just the right time.
Mother's birthday came in April, it's june already, we all thought winter was never going to end, time kept moving and we are alway's surprized by that, doesn't stop and wait for us.
I have been not able to input here, just because I wouldn't shut down in time to take the time to input. It's that way with everything in life, if we don't stop to particepate in whatever, the show goe's on and we miss out.
I am talking to myself here, you don't have to listen, but I hope I have the gumpsion and energy to continue on in my grandkid's live's, and be able to make good contribution's of positive input to their live's, I figure, if I can do a better job of this than I did as a parent, then I may have fullfilled my purpose in life.
The balance of four thing's in life are critical to families staying together, spending time, investing time, sharing time, keeping track of time. Did I do a good job of those four thing's? Time will tell, won't it??
In order to reinvest in this thought, I must move on with the grandchildren, I know of two family friend's of mine who don't get the opportunity at all and this really kill's them, so I am taking note of that.
I love you Kathy my wife
I love you Tina my daughter
I love you Michelle my daughter
I love you Abby my granddaughter
I love you Stephanie my granddaughter
I love you Kaitcha my granddaughter
I love you Karson my grandson
I love you my family
I love you my friend's
I hope I have enough time to go around, I will do my best at trying to maintain the balance my time left on this earth for each of you.
My goodness look at the time, how fast it goe's by.

Unscheduled Stop's

An otherwise strange title with not too much of a plot and not really thought out either, but as I thought of this blog and the fact that it's not really meant for anybody's interest, but innicially put in place to be a mean's for myself to jot down some memorie's and some "all over the place" thing's in my head.
So as you can see those thought's haven't rolled out of the knoggin and onto these page's in quite sometime now, which might explain the title, life's schedule is all over the place too, the problem is it often time's carries me off in all those different direction's without asking me if it's OK with me.
So there I went, off to do this, off to do that, then over here, then over there, all the while, I'm not really aware of where I've been or what I've done, and futhermore I couldn't even keep up with doing what I can't even remember what it was I was doing.
Well that's how I feel alot of the time, It really is an exagerated excuse for not keeping up on the post, because "I can." It's my post!
The truth of the matter is, I really do, do alot and go alot, the unregretable part is , most everything I do is with my family, daughter's and grandkid's. Sometime's this wear's me out physiclly but never get's old. And these are NOT part of the unscheduled stop's but rather the main "STOP", (which is not a stop at all) but rather are on going planned "STOP'S" that are the foundation block's in the value system's of planting seed's in those two generation's behind me.
That's not busy stuff, those stop's are meant for bonding in the family relm and scheme of thing's, I want to clearify that, because there should be no misunderstanding of what "WE" as grandparent's can influence in the live's of "OUR" grandchildren. One reason I touch on this is because this was brought to light in a conversation with an elderly gentalman, who with great regret, said that He is sad to say, envie's what I am able to do with my daughter's and grandchildren. This is actually what He said"I didn't build that with my kid's and certainly regret not building it with my grandkid's."
The unscheduled stop's to me are, not having a job, the car not selling, the scrambling to try not to stop. The stopping to try not to scramble. Religion and not going to church, Religion and trying to figure out where to go to church. The belief in God, being upset with God. And on and on and on and on, what that really describe's is that those are thing's that make me stop when I really hadn't planned to stop, life's stuff, which turn into question's and I end up stopping.
I have to schedule stop's, like writing in this blog, to bypass some of those unscheduled stop's, to help me get back my focus, just happen's to be about family, and not some religious thing.
One other reason is that it renew's my thinking that God placed me in the life of this elderly man's life for a reason, and that it was not one of those unscheduled stop's, but that God planned on me stopping in on this man. And it also renewed a hope in me that God doe's have a purpose for me, this "many stop's, distracted, little eskimo boy."
A note to end on, on the lighter side, I alway's hated making a pit stop while traveling to some destination, inevitebly one of the girl's would have to stop for a potty break, I know there are alot worse unscheduled stop's.

My season in this life.

And that's how it has been, I have been all over the road, trying to go straight, but my life has been like I have dull skate's on.
The last six month's have been trying to say the least, and I don't want to go into the boohoo stage with detail's(water under the bridge) however the fragile part of life has been impressed upon me here lately, many of you heard I lost my best friend of childhood, we were the same age, and he is gone to be with his maker.
Death come's to everyone eventually and I have faced death three or four time's, when it come's there is nothing I can do to prolong my life. I don't want to spend any more time on the thought of death, however, I have been looking at how I "live" my life, that is the part that really count's. I have often thought, that I have actually had a fairly fullfilling life, what I have been thinking the past couple of week's is that I have lived it mostly "my way".
I have been down the path of "what is MY purpose" in life before, I have also gone on from that question and tried to find out on my own, and in my own way. It didn't work for me and I almost took my own life trying to figure it all out, See I was looking with my back turned on God.
The out come would have been more beneficial to me, had I not turned my back on God, but rather held out my hand and surrendered my heart, it's called dangerous surrender, it's scary to let go of the control's and trust the auto pilot button, to sit with your arm's folded and watch and wait, especially when your taking of from the runway, and even harder when you come in for your final approch to land that plane, you want control with your hands firmly gripping the steering control of that plane, for you know full well that if you let go, your going to crash.
My niece, Krissy was in a coma recently and there are going to be day's that are missing from her memory, and somehow I have felt like that, there have been season's missing from my life, because I had turned my back on God, The evil one took advantage of me in my weakness and stole some of those season's, and he left me nothing but heart ache, emptyness and without purpose, not only that but he came back and tricked me over and over again.
I want those season's back you thief! and futhermore I have turned back to your creator, my creator! And the best part is(and let me rub your nose in it!) It's too late for you, and your not my friend. But not for me, you loose, I win!!!!!!! Our Creator will FORGIVE ME!!!!!! But it's over for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for the four season's we live with, there is completeness each season, one bring's on another and they flow together giving the earth life, I left out some of the meaningful part's of my life, thus, my life was not complete, I turned from my way's because of that and turn back to The Giver of Life and want to walk in His season's once again, Will You hold me tight and not let me wander, amen.