Monday, March 9, 2009

My season in this life.

And that's how it has been, I have been all over the road, trying to go straight, but my life has been like I have dull skate's on.
The last six month's have been trying to say the least, and I don't want to go into the boohoo stage with detail's(water under the bridge) however the fragile part of life has been impressed upon me here lately, many of you heard I lost my best friend of childhood, we were the same age, and he is gone to be with his maker.
Death come's to everyone eventually and I have faced death three or four time's, when it come's there is nothing I can do to prolong my life. I don't want to spend any more time on the thought of death, however, I have been looking at how I "live" my life, that is the part that really count's. I have often thought, that I have actually had a fairly fullfilling life, what I have been thinking the past couple of week's is that I have lived it mostly "my way".
I have been down the path of "what is MY purpose" in life before, I have also gone on from that question and tried to find out on my own, and in my own way. It didn't work for me and I almost took my own life trying to figure it all out, See I was looking with my back turned on God.
The out come would have been more beneficial to me, had I not turned my back on God, but rather held out my hand and surrendered my heart, it's called dangerous surrender, it's scary to let go of the control's and trust the auto pilot button, to sit with your arm's folded and watch and wait, especially when your taking of from the runway, and even harder when you come in for your final approch to land that plane, you want control with your hands firmly gripping the steering control of that plane, for you know full well that if you let go, your going to crash.
My niece, Krissy was in a coma recently and there are going to be day's that are missing from her memory, and somehow I have felt like that, there have been season's missing from my life, because I had turned my back on God, The evil one took advantage of me in my weakness and stole some of those season's, and he left me nothing but heart ache, emptyness and without purpose, not only that but he came back and tricked me over and over again.
I want those season's back you thief! and futhermore I have turned back to your creator, my creator! And the best part is(and let me rub your nose in it!) It's too late for you, and your not my friend. But not for me, you loose, I win!!!!!!! Our Creator will FORGIVE ME!!!!!! But it's over for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for the four season's we live with, there is completeness each season, one bring's on another and they flow together giving the earth life, I left out some of the meaningful part's of my life, thus, my life was not complete, I turned from my way's because of that and turn back to The Giver of Life and want to walk in His season's once again, Will You hold me tight and not let me wander, amen.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Tear's in my eye's

I saw the picture, I read the name, I read the obituary, that new's and being able to put two and two together sometime's doesn't sink in for awhile. As I read further my heart cracked alittle more and the gravity of the loss sank in and that's where the tear's start.
Then some of the memories start to come to the surface and it doesn't get any easier from that point on.
I know the family has it even worse, and my sympathy and condolences are with you all.
I grew up with Ronald David Robinson in Anchorage, Alaska during our younger year's, my family moved away to the lower fourty-eight in ninteen sixty five, which separated our frienship for four year's, all the while our kindred spirit stayed connected and in ninteen sixty nine(a very good year) I hitched a ride back to my home town of Anchorage, and my friend moved me right in to his house.
Our friendship never stopped, mile's separated us for a time, but when true friend's have that bond it will last forever.
Spending the next few year's around each other we added to the memories and experience's sharing in a life that we thought would never end, yes we wrote that song and when we were together it's a wonder that we made it as long as we did, we were crazy but more than once glad to be alive.
I want to take a moment and share what this is doing in my heart, for I miss Ronnie and will have no more time with him, that to me is almost unfathomable. So in thinking about my friendship with other's I hope I have this down, I try to be there for people,friend's and family,not nessisarilly in that order, for I need to be ready to give of myself to any one of those I have mentioned back there, if I want to maintain what Ronnie and I had built into our friendship, then truely it has to come from with in my heart toward's all other's.
We should tribute our friend's when they are alive, not after they are gone from us, we should alway's treasure each friendship each day, sometime's that's inconvienient for us, sometime's it hurt's, sometime's it cost's us but when we come out the other end we can say we expierienced true friendship, Ronnie and I came out the other end and it wasn't that hard, because niether one of us was looking at what we wanted but at what we could be for each other.
True friendship is hard to come by in this day and age but we all have the same shot at it, is it going to be my best shot? and will you even take aim?
Oh how the Church would do to get ahold of this kind of message and believe it in their heart's, that's when it will flourish and grow beyond their wildest dream's.
I hope it won't be a sad outcome, but one of hope brought to us by one that has gone on before, passed on to the other side, still sharing from the life he left, a lesson I cherish and learned from my best buddy and life long friend, Ronald David Robinson, this is in memory of you my friend.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Tough time's-compassion or self centeredness?

I have been watching people for the past couple of week's, usually my wife is the people watcher and I give her a hard time when I catch heer looking. So I got hooked, sometime's it's fun because we as human's are so habitual and that make's us all funny to watch at one point or another.
A few week's ago I took my grandson to starbucks with me, you know some time away from girl's and to get him some papa time, we read some book's and just visited, however you do that with a two year old. I am a regular at this particular starbuck's, close to my house and I can visit with some of the other regular's that come in from time to time, but this morning, I let Karson read book's and I started watching people, the place was empty, well it was eight AM. I noticed a young lady with her young daughter and it must have been a similar venture for them as well, only they shared a milk and also one doughnut, this touched me and made me realize that the economy has affected this little family, but they were going to still share in this treat together and I could see the joy on the little one's face as she enjoyed half a doughnut with her mother.
The next week we took the grandchildren to McDonald's so they could have a treat and also run off some steam and so it might wear them out so when they slept over that night at our house , they would go right to sleep(it worked). While the wife and I sat I noticed a young family come in, two young boy's and mom and dad sat at the table as they watched their boy's share a blizzard icecream treat, each boy had his own spoon and they very politly took turns to dip in and get a spoonful, and when they finished a portion they very graciously slid the cup over to mom and dad and they ran off to play, I watched mom and dad share the rest of the treat, Mom and Dad looked like they were happy and the boy's were extatic, they were together and had each other, that was obvious, but so was the fact that they came in with one blizzard to share amoung the four of them.
I am not sure how much we care about each other, stranger to stranger, family to family, church member's? Everyone is so busy trying to make it, we all need to squeek out a living, that we are too busy for each other. I am thankful for my relationship's with my daughter's, We still get together, we still do thing's and find away to keep the closeness as a family, We all need to pass good thing's down to our grandchildren, in the tough time's they need to learn what it's all about, they need to learn that when the money is not there that that is not the end of the fun time's, togetherness is not an alternative but rather the mean's to the end.
I am going to stand with a friend through a court trial, he is very scared, he has no one that care's, his children do not care, although they would hold out their hand if he were passing money out, but they won't hold his hand in court, how sad this is, So I will stand once more, conviction sometime's place's us in an action mode and whether stranger of friend, we should reach out to take the hurting person's hand and say I will help you, I will stand with you, I will cry with you, I will give you my shirt, I will give you my food. Jesus said, "if you would do this for the very least of these human being's,
you be doing it unto Me"
We can go to church three night's a week and be there for every sunday morning, but what good are we doing, if during the rest of the week we don't even care for our own church member's, or show love to our neighbors or our friend's, there are so many hurting people in our hurting economic time's. The church would grow in these time's if we paid attention to what Jesus said, "the world would be apart of you by the love you show one another." my venacular, my understanding.