Saturday, November 28, 2009

Our busyness,time fly's

The last date I posted was in January 2009, have I kept all those things bottled up for that long? I am sitting by a beautiful young lady and she is writing in a journal, I have one of those at home,not to be written in as almost as long as this one. There is no point in this writing' except to get my fingers working again, of course I will have to go back an check for mistakes, I do facebook quite often so I'm not that bad.
The original intent in this post was the realization that I have not posted for so long, and as all of you, there has been so much that has happened as the time has flown by so consistantly as time doe's.
I count it a blessing to still be around although as an existant I am alive, going here and there almost like a zombie at times with purpose only in the relm that applies to family and imediate members there of, in which I enjoy my role, I have grandkids and I do take that role on with great and immence seriousness. Our children and grandchildren need so much input and guidence still, the grandchildren of course more so, because time flies and if we don't particepate in those lives then our influence goes by the wayside.
I think it a travisty if I hold my love in and not freely spend it on my family, time is much equal to love, and our little grandkids need all we can give.
I belive times are changing and our country is not helping the family tradition stay strong, we are being undermined and devalued, if we don't do our part by doing what we can in our immediate families then TIME is going to slide on by and we will sit there and wonder, where did the time go? And more regrettibly, Why didn't I pay attention.
I turn my thinking back in my mental time clock, I lost my grandson who wasn't born yet, at five months in his mommy, he is not able to expierience time, He is forever with Jesus, He will not know time as we know it, but we, his family will always wonder what times we would have had together with Him? This thought should spur us on to spend the time we do have with our loved ones differently from the norm we hold many times, if you are one who holds these values then it will bless your family and those around you and therefore be an influence in this world and our country, Bless you for doing your part with and in your family, you are a Hero for your family, and we as hero's don't need to be recognized for our deeds except where it counts, in those lives we touch.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


I was awoken to look at what seemed to be a dream, as I looked I was entering a big building through a side door as were many people. I noticed the main entrance facing the street was hardly being used, strange I thought, intrigged by this I stood at a window watching a few come straggling in that main door.There standing on the outside is a person who I could see as these shodow's of other's would take out a key and let themselve's in as they entered around the strange person standing by the door. I thought He was a door man or a greeter, but He never once openned the door for any of those that entered and they would quickly close the door not letting the stranger sneak in behind them, pecqullier I thought!
My attention was drawn to some commotion going on in the autatorium where a host of shadowy figure's were milling about, not really doing anything that looked inviting, but I wandered in to see if I could get involved, but was turned aside because I wasn't able to show a key.
There are hundreds of people coming into the main room through side door's from four corner's of this big room but they too are standing around the outside looking in at what appear's to be three or four separate groups or team's, if they are some kind of team? It's totally clear that they are not working toward any particular goal, and the team's roster is full, because as others try to engage, they are also turned away for lack of having a key, It's like the one's in the middle know we are in the building, which they don't seem to mind, but at the same time they know who possess key's and those who do not.
There is some kind of belonging that I can't put my finger on and some strange feeling of wanting to belong without invitation it's obvious you will not be welcomed to these special team's what ever they are.
There is a familiar sound coming from the main entrance, a tap, tap and another tap, no one seem's to hear it although everyone standing around that are not part of the festivities know someone want's in, why? I wonder doesn't He come around to the side door, we got in that way, although clearly not welcome we are in.
Ignored by all that entered with a key none would let Him in until all inside heard the one still patciantly standing at the front door, in a quite yet audible voice say"Behold I stand at the door and knock."
Is someone going to let him in the building at least?

Friday, June 5, 2009

Ever changing LIFE

Just thinking.........passing time just thinking. I keep being amazed at life, thing's that happen and sometime's we don't stop and look at this stuff going on around us,I seem to just make adjustments without thinking that there is anything different, and just keep on keeping on.
God however is in control of these ever changing thing's in our live's and just want's us to acknowledge HIM as being in control, something I am not very good at, and so I think HE must keep putting thing's in front of me until I"get it", thankfully HE is very patient with me, very thankful.
The very thing that make's me come to this thought is, Kristina, my very first niece, who not too long ago was in that life threatenning accident. God must still be amazed at the slowness of some of us who take so long to get these message's. That accident affected so many people accross this country, and so many people rushed to gather around Krissy, though many didn't even know her but still rallied around her, I think because we all down deep inside ourselve's know how very fragile life is, and we hope that by coming together in prayer before the Creator that it in someway will help us come to a closer relationship with not only each other but strengthen our own faith.
Thing's in life happen for a reason, I am looking forward to this weekend and next weekend, because Krissy's family is coming together in celebration of a family member graduating from high school, what a way to start life, with family coming together ,and what a place to start healing of family relation's in a place and event of a kid's moving on in life, Oh son be aware of the many life changing event's in your life too come.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Time....Where did it go.

I was walking out the door of the place I worked for twenty year's and remember thinking I don't have very much time to waste before I need to get another job. I was making call's to invite people to my mother's 89 th. birthday, arranging for food, place's for family to stay, reunion's of people in youth group, thinking I'll never get this ready in time.
Well I have been on my own employment in contracting work now for over a year, God has supplied each day, and new thing's seem to roll in at just the right time.
Mother's birthday came in April, it's june already, we all thought winter was never going to end, time kept moving and we are alway's surprized by that, doesn't stop and wait for us.
I have been not able to input here, just because I wouldn't shut down in time to take the time to input. It's that way with everything in life, if we don't stop to particepate in whatever, the show goe's on and we miss out.
I am talking to myself here, you don't have to listen, but I hope I have the gumpsion and energy to continue on in my grandkid's live's, and be able to make good contribution's of positive input to their live's, I figure, if I can do a better job of this than I did as a parent, then I may have fullfilled my purpose in life.
The balance of four thing's in life are critical to families staying together, spending time, investing time, sharing time, keeping track of time. Did I do a good job of those four thing's? Time will tell, won't it??
In order to reinvest in this thought, I must move on with the grandchildren, I know of two family friend's of mine who don't get the opportunity at all and this really kill's them, so I am taking note of that.
I love you Kathy my wife
I love you Tina my daughter
I love you Michelle my daughter
I love you Abby my granddaughter
I love you Stephanie my granddaughter
I love you Kaitcha my granddaughter
I love you Karson my grandson
I love you my family
I love you my friend's
I hope I have enough time to go around, I will do my best at trying to maintain the balance my time left on this earth for each of you.
My goodness look at the time, how fast it goe's by.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Unscheduled Stop's

An otherwise strange title with not too much of a plot and not really thought out either, but as I thought of this blog and the fact that it's not really meant for anybody's interest, but innicially put in place to be a mean's for myself to jot down some memorie's and some "all over the place" thing's in my head.
So as you can see those thought's haven't rolled out of the knoggin and onto these page's in quite sometime now, which might explain the title, life's schedule is all over the place too, the problem is it often time's carries me off in all those different direction's without asking me if it's OK with me.
So there I went, off to do this, off to do that, then over here, then over there, all the while, I'm not really aware of where I've been or what I've done, and futhermore I couldn't even keep up with doing what I can't even remember what it was I was doing.
Well that's how I feel alot of the time, It really is an exagerated excuse for not keeping up on the post, because "I can." It's my post!
The truth of the matter is, I really do, do alot and go alot, the unregretable part is , most everything I do is with my family, daughter's and grandkid's. Sometime's this wear's me out physiclly but never get's old. And these are NOT part of the unscheduled stop's but rather the main "STOP", (which is not a stop at all) but rather are on going planned "STOP'S" that are the foundation block's in the value system's of planting seed's in those two generation's behind me.
That's not busy stuff, those stop's are meant for bonding in the family relm and scheme of thing's, I want to clearify that, because there should be no misunderstanding of what "WE" as grandparent's can influence in the live's of "OUR" grandchildren. One reason I touch on this is because this was brought to light in a conversation with an elderly gentalman, who with great regret, said that He is sad to say, envie's what I am able to do with my daughter's and grandchildren. This is actually what He said"I didn't build that with my kid's and certainly regret not building it with my grandkid's."
The unscheduled stop's to me are, not having a job, the car not selling, the scrambling to try not to stop. The stopping to try not to scramble. Religion and not going to church, Religion and trying to figure out where to go to church. The belief in God, being upset with God. And on and on and on and on, what that really describe's is that those are thing's that make me stop when I really hadn't planned to stop, life's stuff, which turn into question's and I end up stopping.
I have to schedule stop's, like writing in this blog, to bypass some of those unscheduled stop's, to help me get back my focus, just happen's to be about family, and not some religious thing.
One other reason is that it renew's my thinking that God placed me in the life of this elderly man's life for a reason, and that it was not one of those unscheduled stop's, but that God planned on me stopping in on this man. And it also renewed a hope in me that God doe's have a purpose for me, this "many stop's, distracted, little eskimo boy."
A note to end on, on the lighter side, I alway's hated making a pit stop while traveling to some destination, inevitebly one of the girl's would have to stop for a potty break, I know there are alot worse unscheduled stop's.

Monday, March 9, 2009

My season in this life.

And that's how it has been, I have been all over the road, trying to go straight, but my life has been like I have dull skate's on.
The last six month's have been trying to say the least, and I don't want to go into the boohoo stage with detail's(water under the bridge) however the fragile part of life has been impressed upon me here lately, many of you heard I lost my best friend of childhood, we were the same age, and he is gone to be with his maker.
Death come's to everyone eventually and I have faced death three or four time's, when it come's there is nothing I can do to prolong my life. I don't want to spend any more time on the thought of death, however, I have been looking at how I "live" my life, that is the part that really count's. I have often thought, that I have actually had a fairly fullfilling life, what I have been thinking the past couple of week's is that I have lived it mostly "my way".
I have been down the path of "what is MY purpose" in life before, I have also gone on from that question and tried to find out on my own, and in my own way. It didn't work for me and I almost took my own life trying to figure it all out, See I was looking with my back turned on God.
The out come would have been more beneficial to me, had I not turned my back on God, but rather held out my hand and surrendered my heart, it's called dangerous surrender, it's scary to let go of the control's and trust the auto pilot button, to sit with your arm's folded and watch and wait, especially when your taking of from the runway, and even harder when you come in for your final approch to land that plane, you want control with your hands firmly gripping the steering control of that plane, for you know full well that if you let go, your going to crash.
My niece, Krissy was in a coma recently and there are going to be day's that are missing from her memory, and somehow I have felt like that, there have been season's missing from my life, because I had turned my back on God, The evil one took advantage of me in my weakness and stole some of those season's, and he left me nothing but heart ache, emptyness and without purpose, not only that but he came back and tricked me over and over again.
I want those season's back you thief! and futhermore I have turned back to your creator, my creator! And the best part is(and let me rub your nose in it!) It's too late for you, and your not my friend. But not for me, you loose, I win!!!!!!! Our Creator will FORGIVE ME!!!!!! But it's over for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for the four season's we live with, there is completeness each season, one bring's on another and they flow together giving the earth life, I left out some of the meaningful part's of my life, thus, my life was not complete, I turned from my way's because of that and turn back to The Giver of Life and want to walk in His season's once again, Will You hold me tight and not let me wander, amen.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Tear's in my eye's

I saw the picture, I read the name, I read the obituary, that new's and being able to put two and two together sometime's doesn't sink in for awhile. As I read further my heart cracked alittle more and the gravity of the loss sank in and that's where the tear's start.
Then some of the memories start to come to the surface and it doesn't get any easier from that point on.
I know the family has it even worse, and my sympathy and condolences are with you all.
I grew up with Ronald David Robinson in Anchorage, Alaska during our younger year's, my family moved away to the lower fourty-eight in ninteen sixty five, which separated our frienship for four year's, all the while our kindred spirit stayed connected and in ninteen sixty nine(a very good year) I hitched a ride back to my home town of Anchorage, and my friend moved me right in to his house.
Our friendship never stopped, mile's separated us for a time, but when true friend's have that bond it will last forever.
Spending the next few year's around each other we added to the memories and experience's sharing in a life that we thought would never end, yes we wrote that song and when we were together it's a wonder that we made it as long as we did, we were crazy but more than once glad to be alive.
I want to take a moment and share what this is doing in my heart, for I miss Ronnie and will have no more time with him, that to me is almost unfathomable. So in thinking about my friendship with other's I hope I have this down, I try to be there for people,friend's and family,not nessisarilly in that order, for I need to be ready to give of myself to any one of those I have mentioned back there, if I want to maintain what Ronnie and I had built into our friendship, then truely it has to come from with in my heart toward's all other's.
We should tribute our friend's when they are alive, not after they are gone from us, we should alway's treasure each friendship each day, sometime's that's inconvienient for us, sometime's it hurt's, sometime's it cost's us but when we come out the other end we can say we expierienced true friendship, Ronnie and I came out the other end and it wasn't that hard, because niether one of us was looking at what we wanted but at what we could be for each other.
True friendship is hard to come by in this day and age but we all have the same shot at it, is it going to be my best shot? and will you even take aim?
Oh how the Church would do to get ahold of this kind of message and believe it in their heart's, that's when it will flourish and grow beyond their wildest dream's.
I hope it won't be a sad outcome, but one of hope brought to us by one that has gone on before, passed on to the other side, still sharing from the life he left, a lesson I cherish and learned from my best buddy and life long friend, Ronald David Robinson, this is in memory of you my friend.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Tough time's-compassion or self centeredness?

I have been watching people for the past couple of week's, usually my wife is the people watcher and I give her a hard time when I catch heer looking. So I got hooked, sometime's it's fun because we as human's are so habitual and that make's us all funny to watch at one point or another.
A few week's ago I took my grandson to starbucks with me, you know some time away from girl's and to get him some papa time, we read some book's and just visited, however you do that with a two year old. I am a regular at this particular starbuck's, close to my house and I can visit with some of the other regular's that come in from time to time, but this morning, I let Karson read book's and I started watching people, the place was empty, well it was eight AM. I noticed a young lady with her young daughter and it must have been a similar venture for them as well, only they shared a milk and also one doughnut, this touched me and made me realize that the economy has affected this little family, but they were going to still share in this treat together and I could see the joy on the little one's face as she enjoyed half a doughnut with her mother.
The next week we took the grandchildren to McDonald's so they could have a treat and also run off some steam and so it might wear them out so when they slept over that night at our house , they would go right to sleep(it worked). While the wife and I sat I noticed a young family come in, two young boy's and mom and dad sat at the table as they watched their boy's share a blizzard icecream treat, each boy had his own spoon and they very politly took turns to dip in and get a spoonful, and when they finished a portion they very graciously slid the cup over to mom and dad and they ran off to play, I watched mom and dad share the rest of the treat, Mom and Dad looked like they were happy and the boy's were extatic, they were together and had each other, that was obvious, but so was the fact that they came in with one blizzard to share amoung the four of them.
I am not sure how much we care about each other, stranger to stranger, family to family, church member's? Everyone is so busy trying to make it, we all need to squeek out a living, that we are too busy for each other. I am thankful for my relationship's with my daughter's, We still get together, we still do thing's and find away to keep the closeness as a family, We all need to pass good thing's down to our grandchildren, in the tough time's they need to learn what it's all about, they need to learn that when the money is not there that that is not the end of the fun time's, togetherness is not an alternative but rather the mean's to the end.
I am going to stand with a friend through a court trial, he is very scared, he has no one that care's, his children do not care, although they would hold out their hand if he were passing money out, but they won't hold his hand in court, how sad this is, So I will stand once more, conviction sometime's place's us in an action mode and whether stranger of friend, we should reach out to take the hurting person's hand and say I will help you, I will stand with you, I will cry with you, I will give you my shirt, I will give you my food. Jesus said, "if you would do this for the very least of these human being's,
you be doing it unto Me"
We can go to church three night's a week and be there for every sunday morning, but what good are we doing, if during the rest of the week we don't even care for our own church member's, or show love to our neighbors or our friend's, there are so many hurting people in our hurting economic time's. The church would grow in these time's if we paid attention to what Jesus said, "the world would be apart of you by the love you show one another." my venacular, my understanding.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Church or Jesus

I heard a man say he grew up in Church, he is fourty year's old and has been in church forty year's and nine month's.
I believe in The Man Jesus, God's only son, born on this planet, to be the only one to be able to bring us to God. I struggle so much in this flesh, so that must mean I don't have a personnal relationship with The Man Jesus and that's probably why I don't fit into Central Christian Church, I am of unequal yoke's for those people, I have not been to their church for a couple month's, nor have I wanted too just for that reason, when your shunned or made to feel like you have to prove your self, who want's to be in church?
I am working on a house, the owner got into some trouble with the law, and he feel's like a low life, I can not turn my back on this man as a friend, I can not judge this man as a friend, I am there for this man, I bailed this man out of jail, and signed to be responsible for him until his court date, I dare say there is not a single church person that would do that for me. Shame on us, Shame on the church, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are right, I am making a statement about the church, but it is not without experience of their care, and I know they would turn it around and put it on me, and that's fine, I probably deserve that, but at the same time that's a fine welcome to our modern day church, and how , I say that again,AND HOW? HOW CAN I TAKE THIS FRIEND OF MINE, WHO IS FEELING LIKE A LOW LIFE TO A CHURCH WHO DOES'NT CARE FOR THEIR MEMBER'S?????????? That's a QUESTION?
Can you feel the frustration I am writing? I have often felt the Call of God in my heart, I had committed my talent's to the cause of helpping the orphane's in India, and then it turned on me faster than a skunk raising his butt.
Who are you God? Where are you? I have asked you into my heart, and I have been distracted by so many thing's and yet I can't count on your body of believer's to care, or get involved with, so who do I turn too, the people I used to run with?
So, Jesus, how do you deal with me? How will you show me the purpose for my life? I need to know, I am around real people each day who need to know how this work's for them too, If you won't show me, how will I be able to help my friend's in their time of need?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

In a clouded state of mind

Some time back when I was seventeen, I was taking flying lesson's in Alaska and learning to trust the instrument panel for what they are showing you when you can't see anything outside the cockpit. When your flying through the cloud's you don't look out the window's to get your bearings, you drop your head and watch the wings on the panel, you listen to the sound of the engine, you read the RPM's, air speed and so on, if you look out the window for just a second and then glance back at the alltitude, you may have dropped a couple hundred feet in that time period, you may also notice the horizontal wings tilted one way or the other, these things happen so fast when you take your eye's off the instruments, your equalibrium go'es haywire and your mind play's trick's on you.
In the end, when you come out of the cloud's it is refreshing to be able to look out over the horizon and establish eye contact with familure surroundings.
I got vertigo on one of these training flights one time and the only thing that corrected my mind was to look down at the instrument's.
When I am walking through every day living, I sometime's feel like I'm in a state of vertigo, my mind know's what right is, but my body won't perform the way I'm supposed too.
With all the health stuff going on all around me, and the accident's happenning to loved one's, I felt like I was flying with a training hood on, I knew how to fly the plane by watching the panel, but I wanted to see everything going on, and I was trying to do all the right thing's but my instructor was busy training someone else and couldn't hear me. I was doing nose dive's and just clearing mountain peaks, clipping tree top's and actually flying away from the direction I wanted to be headed in.
The training, and going back to my basic belief's, kept me from doing a nose dive. I have alway's believed in Angel's, my faith walk and all that stuff may not be in the greatest shape but I came back through the Angel's.
I believe I can call on the Heavenly Host's to come and perform what ever they do, and I believe they listen when they are called upon, from there on I don't understand how they do what they do, But I have seen the result's first hand, And I just want to thank them for going beyond their call of duty and slipping by me and touching me, giving me renewed courage to continue on. They have reconnected me to the instrument panel and brought me out of the cloud's and shown me the sun shinning above the cloud's.
They have done mighty glorious thing's, He is to be Praised and I know He is going to touch all my loved one's, He is going to bring healing to my loved one's, and comfort too.
As I get my equallibrium back, I want to sore again, Keep showing me the sign's and help me to trust the instrument's as I climb back in the plane.

Monday, February 9, 2009

When friendship's stick

My wife of thirtysix year's now, was standing talking to the preacher dude that married us, and he was literally standing there shaking his head in sheer amazement that we had out lasted his prediction of maybe making it a year, his wife explained to him, "this is one of the one's that "took".
Friendship should be this way too, we need to dispose of ourselve's and promote the friend, we should cancell out "me" and look to them.
Yes, Kathy and I did make it and we are "going all the way" because she is more than I am, with out a question more beautiful too.
I value my wife more than my life and would step infront of anything to protect her and would drop anything and go rescue her if need be, I will not talk bad of her, I would not strike her, I would not betray her, she is the most important thing in my life. My beloved FRIEND!
Jesus said to one of His disciple's"do you call me your FRIEND?" , And on my human term's, you see that's all I am capable of, But I will do everything in my power as a friend not to sell you out. I Love my friend's and have alway's tried to go the extra mile for both friend's and family.
I recently got betrayed by a friend, I am finding it a little more difficult than Jesus to be over looking of such treatment.
I however have another friend who has been reaching out to me for advice and guildence in some of his family matter's, this person needs me and I can't leave him danggling out there on the clothe's line when it's pouring down rain on him, I need to find an umbrella, a warm blanket and some socks that I warmed up in the dryer and go to him, now when he needs a friend.
I will keep honing my skills at friendship, I might not be the best at it but I will work hard at it! I belive if I do a little for my friend's then that's a little less that they have to do. I think that's the glue in friendship.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

When Angel's Tend

There are thousands and tens of thousands of Angel's and the many miraculous things they have done, and many people have been touched by them.
It comes close to home for some of us that have been touched by His Angel's, And as I have watched and prayed for Kristina I have been blessed to have it re-affirmed to me in the belief of these Host's that quietly go about their business, how ever they do it?
I have had yet more prayer's answered because of my belief in The Heavenly being's as they have softly touched my heart in a way to make me look at my feeble waning faith,I think to myself and say it out loud,"Oh ye who wander so easily from your belief's".
I try to understand my inexplainable belief in Angel's, I know they come down to us, I know it's not without God's permission,as He send's them to and fro, to heal,mend and give new life, or give a poor soul fresh new air to breath as they were struggling to even inhale the slittest bit of air into their lungs.
I knew they came when in the sky the clouds billow and roll aside in the wake of their wings as they headed west to tend to Krissy, yes and to even tend to my short term faith.
Kristina stared stirring and moving as they swoopped into her room so quietly, and from that moment on her health started with little improvement's, with in day's talking, and then on to walking,yes doing these things that the doctor's said she may never do again, with in day's of doing that, Kristina is told, you may as well go home, there's more to do,but you can check out of the hospital. I belive the Angel's were standing in the room with the doctor's, gathered around holding hands and smiling at each other and giving God a "thumb's up" sign.
When Angel's were in my room and the doctor was looking at the picture of my heart, doc. said, thats funny, "I don't see the damage anymore."
I am eagerly watching Krissy's progress in full anticipation of glorious healing's, We have been shown the attendance of Angel's and the unbelieveable healing power of The blood of Jesus.
As much as I believe in The Tending Angel's , how can I find to surrender my Heart to God? "Oh ye of little faith!" Please tend to the wound's of my heart if you can spare a moment after your done with Krissy.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Bhaa Bhaa Black Sheep

You automaticly know who this is going to be about, yes your's truely. For some reason God made me with that wandering heart and like the little courious lamb I get to taking to the dangerous spots to graze and end up down the cliff on my nose or flat on my butt, wondering why this happened to me!
While I am trying to regain my conscienceness from the fall, I am wondering, "am I not missing" from the rest of the flock? Surely they must notice by now? Doe's the sheppard not recognize me as one of his? There are no such things as sheep hustler's, so I didn't get wranggled by thieve's or have I, the sheppard wouldn't know and in my case he must not care. Sheppards don't make cliff call's anymore I guess! I know my wool is different than all the other sheep,mine's black and their's is white, this isolates me right out of the chute and when your a black sheep you get treated differently too, So I have been able to adapt to that and have had to become tougher skinned and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaing, never helped. Once I find a way up this cliff, do I ram the next fence down and go out on my own and try to find another sheppard that will love me for my black wool? I know in my life time I have taken a few two by fours to the head, I don't know if I was a dumb sheep before being beat over the head or if it's because I was beat, I do know one thing, my head hurts big time and its confussed, like in a fog. Well maybe one of these days someone will sheer the wool and make me a buddist monk, least I wouldn't be a black sheep anymore.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

When Angel's connect

The two girls sat on their beds with legs crossed and kinda leanning towards each other, they were trying to maintain their giggles by putting a hand over the mouth to muffle the uncontrollable noise that only sisters can relate too.
Of course they were up past the wisper stag, an hour past that they knew mom and dad had fallen into that zombie never,never land, and the two of them became comfortable now out of the blankets and sitting on top with the night light on now, talking, oh yeh, and then more talking, they go to school together, ride home together, play all day together all the while talking! What do they talk about? Sisters are sisters right, So that should tell you something, everything, they talk about everything!
Their boy friend, their first kiss with that boy, and then its the other sisters turn.
I have two daughters, I am qualified to say a few words about this subject, and as a matter of fact I am talking about them, yes they are all grown up now and have children of their own, soon enough they will be going through this stage them selves.
Over eighteen years or so they bond like nothing else bonds and know each other by the slightest little twitch of the eye, tone of voice and even body language, Yes to a father these are very mysterious things, but its true, I am wittness of this phenomenon.
It's no surprize to me that my daughters cousin's are thus included in this girls only club of behaviour.
This is no longer a theory of mine, I belive it to be one of the facts of life that can't be taught.
My oldest niece was in a coma recently and the day before her little sister saw it happennig, and it did happen. While making the long trip to the hospital where Krissy had been taken to,

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Hedge

I have been a "Beliver" for as long as I can remember, although I am not such a good follower and get distracted fairly easy, I hope God understands that certain children are prone to these (qualities?). And I know He knows.
So one day when I was in the follow mode, My daughters wanted to become followers of Christ also, it was a sunday and Kathy and I were thrilled.
The whole church gathered on the Columbia river in this little town called Northport, in northwest Washington. And Pastor "Dave" baptized both of my daughters.
My walk with the Lord was something I'll never forget and every where I went, wether walking or driving, chopping wood or burning wood, eating or sleeping, talking or being silent, I wanted to be with Him, it was a very special time in my life.
I remember one sunday, in worship we were singing and every emotion was flowing out of my heart and I felt like I was truely in The Presence of The Lord, and although I have never spoke in "tongues", I was caught up in that presence, everything around me went silent and I was not present in spirit as I stood the with my hands claspt together, when I was finished or He was finished with me(I think he had more to do in it than I), I was standing there all by myself,everyone else was sitting and for how long I don't know and when I openned my eyes it was like coming out of a coma, unlike Krissy's.
As I stood there everyone was quiter than silence and the Pastor stood and asked me if I had a "word"? and as I sat down I said NO?
This was sometime before the baptizium of my daughters so now I'm standing on the beach of the Columbia river and the Pastor asked me to pray for my daughters, we were all gathered around and my daughters in the middle,Pastors hands on the girls and everyone touching each other on the shoulders, I paused taking in the moment and in awe searching for the words to bless my daughters with, and the same thing happened again, as I put myself before God. I knew at that moment we were in His presence and He was listenning to my petition,Here is the reason for all that I've just said,He has KEPT His Promise of keeping a Hedge of protection around my daughters as I asked Him to do all those years ago, I thank Him for His faithfulness towards us when we come before Him, I don't ever want to be flippant or loose in my attitude towards Him, I will always Address Him as " My Heavenly Father!" And furthermore I will not be presumptsuos as to thinking I am anything more than I am, He is GOD and I don't have to show people that I have this casual relationship with Him. That's just me, I want to Thank You God for That hedge of protection you put around my family. Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belive in Your Angels, and I'm asking You Our Heavenly Father to do what you do, how ever you do it,Please tend to Krissy, Thank You, Amen.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kristinas Angels

The Morning is very thick with fog and it settles on you like snow powder. People are moving about, and the traffic is slowly backing up on the streets and the street lights seem brite because of the heavy fog.
I notice people looking about and glancing up at the sky as if trying to see something they know is there but they are trying to get a glimpse of what ever is distracting them, you can almost feel a warmth in the air, even though you know the thick fog is icey cold, I hear a silent calming song in the air also, but really can't hear anything at all, its strange but at the same time comforting and warming to the core of my being and I feel like there is someone walking beside me, I glance and kinda step aside to let them go on by me , but there's nobody on my part of the sidewalk. As I come to the entrance of the hospital the sounds of a million angels swirlled about and the fog is dissapated in a flash, and it sounds like dove's wings fluttering all around, the sun instantly appears and floods the surrounding area with a warm briteness taking over the morning. As I look towards the west I see the fog billowing and churnning as if someone were blowing smoke away from a fire and it never comes back. My thoughts are no longer dreary and clouded, and I seem more alert and everything has a newness and freshness to it, why the buildings all seem to have a fresh coat of white paint on them and reflection of a gold color flashes in the corners of my eye's. I have to stop, I'm almost dizzy and light headed, was that because I stooped down to pick up a penny I just found on the sidewalk? I realize suddenly, I'm no where near a hospital at all, as a matter of fact I hear someone say,"Sir? will that be your usual, grande coffee, black, right?".....uh, yes,yes thank you,Yes Krissy's in good hand's,yes thank you. Well good sir, I'm glad she's going to be OK, have a good day now.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Self made man

I have never been to a trade school or had any formal schooling since high school.
I have had a job ever since I was fourteen years old, I started a hedge trimming business when I was sixteen, I have had a job ever since.
I recently resigned my job as a millwright after working that job for twenty years.
I don't concider to be self centered,I like people and and I enjoy doing things for people, especially my loved ones.
The main problem I'm having in dealing with my niece's health issue's right now is that I can't fix her, I can't help her, I am used to taking action or jumping in to accomplish the task at hand, bring it on, I'll take it on.
I've taken a 327 chevy motor ot of the car, taken it completely apart, put new parts back in it and put it all back together, put it back in the car and turned the key and it fires right up and purr's like a kitten.
So having to make myself who I am on my own merit and using my God given abilities
to become that "self made man" is now fairly frustrating to me and alot more useless.
A good friend of mine told me to "trust in God and lean not into my own understanding" Having concidered this, I know I need to learn how to "trust in someone else". Easier said than done by this little Eskimo boy.

Monday, January 19, 2009

When hangin' gets loose.

I went to my house project today, not wanting to be there, I have this ache in my heart for Kristina Dawn. So my mind wandered while I worked, keeeping my hands busy helps me and I think better that way too.
I'll tend to get loose with my walk in The Lord when the day in and the day out stuff is just coasting along, and thats how it's been lately.
I don't like this kinda' stuff Kristina is going through and I don't like to have my attention got by someone having to go through this kinda' crap.
So today was filled with some anger,and it probably doesn't help that I'm still emotionally tired. Actually wore out and drug through the dooky is more what I was thinking.
I am only her uncle for crying out loud, but I love family and my insides are almost to come outside, but the real problem is not my guts, its my inner being, the one that wants to question God, I say it backwards from the Appostle Paul, "My spirit is weak", not that my flesh is strong, not doing too good there either.
I know there are lots of christians who could "fix" me with their "sayings" and the look at your walk thing, but it is just not helping me to "hang" at this point.
Have to believe, have to trust, God is faithful, it's hard looking at Krissy,in that bed not moving and I'm thinking "why so drastic".
It's becoming complicated for me right now, so maybe thats why I'm alittle loose with my hangin'. HEY, It's my Blog!!!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Heritage Girl

As I think and take time to pray for my niece,Kristina Dawn, There are some memories that come to me. Kristina was in a bad car accident last wednesday and has been in a coma every since, althought she is starting to come out she is still in very rough shape. So my ramblings are dedicated to her and her complete recovery.
Krissy is a beautiful Eskimo girl and when she was a young teenager she entered a pagent of some sort and it was fun for me to go and show support as I would do for my own daughters in anything they participated in, I also wanted to be involved in my nieces lives. I was amazed at the quick tranformation in Krissy as she started out on this adventure and the pride I saw in this young lady as she let that side of her be exposed to anything and everything anyone who might want to take a shot at her,at any point this is a hard buisiness to handle when your are an adult let alone a very young teenager, Krissy held her head up and gave it her best shot and I was Proud of her for stepping out and trying, I remeber thinking all the other girls had been raised up going to all kinds of pagents and contests, but Krissy just wanted to try it that one time, she didn't win it but she put alot of pride in the hearts of her family, I was proud to have had the opportunity to be there for that.
These memories are of things that were not easy to participate in and I remember one other contest she took part in and went all the way to the finish line, This took place in Seward, Alaska. Kristina and her father entered in whats call "The Mount Marathon Race", they start out in the streets of this little fishing town and run towards this mountain and then have to climb and scale about five thousand feet up to the top and then come back down and cross the finish line, "Here she comes!" we all yelled, and she was giving it all she had, dragging herself across the finish line, tears of actual pain were streaming down her face, she was covered in mud and looked like the mountain tryed to wrestle her down and make her apart of the mountain, she looked like she had been swallowed up by that mountain but she fought back and came out to conquer it instead.
I looked at Kristina lying there in the hospital bed, fighting to breath, not knowing there were family and loved ones standing by watching her again in this race, in this fight, participating galliantly to stay in this game of life, Krissy you are a winner and we were all there by your bed as you showed us how to fight.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I at one time became tired of living, the struggle, always fighting to exist, it seems I always had to prove myself to someone somewhere, not sometime but it seemed all the time. I thought I knew who I was and tried to be my own man, forgetting that peer pressure had a hold an me too, this peer pressure is not selective it affects us all, and I was involved in it still, it didn't go away after adolescence. So in sorting all that out and, I began the fight to gain my life back, the accuser had taken some of my life and crushed me to the point that I wanted to end my life. While I stood in my niece's ICU room, I saw her fighting for breath, I saw pain, and I saw her laying there in a coma, yet she just wanted to have that chance to get her life back, at this point everything in this life come's into a perspective I haven't looked at in quite some time, I don't think Krissy was woried about her checking account, probably wasn't concerned about her truck being in a mangled heep. To me this is a quandry state, in one sence she is at peace, nothing matters, and we would like to have that same kind of peace, without the hassles of life,but yet to be alive, on the other hand She wants to be alive and would be able to handle all the hassles, oh how do we become like her and yet live. Yes there is an answer, surrender, like dangerous surrender, This has been difficult for me to do and so Krissy has a better chance of surviving than I do in her present state. So God please continue to do your thing with Krissy, and if You would, eek a little my way, not to take any away from Krissy though. thanks Kenneth

Little Eskimo girl.

And she is a fighter, fighting for life right now as because she crashed her dogsled, crushing her . And in that crash the accuser tried to take her life away from Kristina but she reached out to the giver of life and He is reaching back down to her, sustaining her with new strength and new life like we may never know, although Kristina will be there to help show us the way and be a giver of life to many, many people that she has just began to touch through this tragic accident. This dogsled, a Ford pickup truck, a mangled hunk of steel, reaching in and surrounding her, trying to trap her inside its unforgiving fortress, It could not hold her, There was too much Love out there, and Kristina, reaching from deep down inside found that thin thread called Hope! That thin thread was there because on the other end of that thread was a foundation that had deep roots and those roots were grounded and firm and when Kristina reached out and made that last ditch effort to hang on, It was there for Her. And that was the voice from her husband, that touch from her children, the tears that dropped on Kristina from her Loved ones who stood and talked to her in reassuring voices that come from friends and family. We will all welcome you back Kristina, just as if you never even left. With love, your uncle, Kenneth