Monday, January 19, 2009

When hangin' gets loose.

I went to my house project today, not wanting to be there, I have this ache in my heart for Kristina Dawn. So my mind wandered while I worked, keeeping my hands busy helps me and I think better that way too.
I'll tend to get loose with my walk in The Lord when the day in and the day out stuff is just coasting along, and thats how it's been lately.
I don't like this kinda' stuff Kristina is going through and I don't like to have my attention got by someone having to go through this kinda' crap.
So today was filled with some anger,and it probably doesn't help that I'm still emotionally tired. Actually wore out and drug through the dooky is more what I was thinking.
I am only her uncle for crying out loud, but I love family and my insides are almost to come outside, but the real problem is not my guts, its my inner being, the one that wants to question God, I say it backwards from the Appostle Paul, "My spirit is weak", not that my flesh is strong, not doing too good there either.
I know there are lots of christians who could "fix" me with their "sayings" and the look at your walk thing, but it is just not helping me to "hang" at this point.
Have to believe, have to trust, God is faithful, it's hard looking at Krissy,in that bed not moving and I'm thinking "why so drastic".
It's becoming complicated for me right now, so maybe thats why I'm alittle loose with my hangin'. HEY, It's my Blog!!!!!

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